After Dark 2: Absence of Pain
by Alicia
Summary: Part 2 in the 'After Dark' series. Tom goes on an away mission and B'Elanna's life is turned upside down


Basic Disclaimer: Its Paramounts playground. I only wish I owned these characters. But alas! They're not mine! But this storyline IS mine, so don't copy! 

Copyright: January 2000

Dedicated to: No one. Well, maybe Barbara :o)

Absence of Pain   
Part 2 in the 'After Dark' series   
By Alicia Torres 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

"The planet's surface does not appear to be stable enough for this entire Starship to land on it. But I think a shuttle should—" Harry Kim was interrupted by the opening of the conference room doors. A harried looking Tom Paris dashed in. 

"I'm really sorry, Captain. I overslept," he explained apoplectically, taking one of the three empty seats. Janeway gave her best stern look, but said nothing. "Sorry Harry." 

The ensign shrugged and turned back to the diagram. "Like I was saying, I think a shuttle could safely make the landing, but—" he was interrupted again by the opening doors. It was B'Elanna. 

"I apologize, Captain. My alarm didn't go off." She exchanged a quick, private smile with Tom before taking the seat across from him and turning to face a flustered Harry. Janeway's stern look had disappeared, and was replaced by a bemused grin. She looked at Chakotay, whose expression mirrored her own. She quickly remembered herself and changed her expression. 

"We'll discuss this later, Lieutenant. Please continue, Ensign. 

More than a little annoyed, Harry threw up his hands and turned back to the viewscreen, casting a warning glance at the doors, daring them to interrupt him a third time. "Like I *have been saying* the shuttle can make a safe landing, but the interference won't allow us to have much communication," he said, handing a padd to B'Elanna. 

"B'Elanna?" Janeway asked the engineer a few moments later. B'Elanna rose and headed to the viewscreen, tapping on the console, bringing up a series of screens. 

"Well . . . " she began, turning back to the padd. "This atmosphere is unlike any we've ever encountered. While I personally don't think it's wise to send a shuttle down there — with one person nonetheless — there's nothing to suggest that it could be harmful. I can get a team assembled in Engineering to work on a way to break through the interference. A good old-fashioned dampening field just might do the trick, if set up right." 

"Thank you, B'Elanna. And your concerns are dually noted. Get your team assembled as quickly as you can. I don't want to stay above this planet when we're not even sure what dangers it holds. Dismissed." Everyone rose to leave, and Janeway held up one finger. "B'Elanna, Tom, if I may . . . " she gestured to the table and gave them a sit-down-motion. She saw Harry stifle a laugh and walk out. She fought to keep a smile off of her own face as she turned to her officers. 

"You expect a lecture on etiquette of how to conduct your — private — affairs. And I know that's the lecture I should be giving . . . " she let a smile cross her face briefly. "Just about everyone on this ship knows that I'm a supporter of this relationship. And not everyone approves. I don't want this obvious romance between the two of you to interfere with your jobs anymore. But I understand that these things will happen. We're a couple of generations away from our home . . . " she stopped and looked at her officers. "I knew everyone would start pairing off . . . " At this point, she was talking more to herself than to them, and they exchanged a sidelong glace. "Just know that when I snap at you about public displays, it's only because I want your work to come first, even though I know it's not always going to work that way. That being said . . . Tom, I'm giving you this away mission. Dismissed." 

~*~ 

"Be sure to take plenty of tricorder readings. We need to know everything about this planet that we can find out," Janeway said, patting Tom in the back. She, Tom, B'Elanna, Chakotay, Harry and Tuvok were in the shuttle bay, wishing Tom luck on his mission. In actuality, Chakotay was there because Janeway was there, and Tuvok felt it his duty as security chief to be present. Tom nodded and gave B'Elanna a quick glance. Janeway noticed the motion and turned to the rest of the crew. She gestured with her chin to the exit, and everyone took the hint and turned to leave, leaving Tom and B'Elanna alone. 

"You know I wish you weren't going on this mission," she said, crossing her arms. 

"I know. And I wish I weren't going, either. But the captain assigned it to me, and I can't refuse." Tom wrapped his arms around her waist and she rested her head against his chest, listening to his heartbeat. 

"It's only for a couple of days. That's what I keep telling myself." 

"Maybe only a few hours if I work quickly," he joked, kissing the top of her head. 

"It's not really the fact you're going to be gone. It's that we don't know what it is you're going in *to*." 

"Well, if it'll make you feel better, you can keep a constant lock on me from Engineering and pull me out at the first sign of trouble. You did establish that dampening field, right?" he murmured. She was sweating, and the scent of the sweat, her perfume and shampoo was driving him wild. He didn't want to admit it, but he was scared. He wanted to stay right there with her, in her arms, in her bed . . . 

"Tuvok to Ensign Paris. It's time for departure" 

"Acknowledged" he replied. He pulled back from their embrace and smiled down at her. "Time to ride. I'll be back before you know it." He kissed her, not a passionate kiss that would have distracted them both, but a soft kiss that said 'I'll be home soon' rather than 'Gotta prepare for the winter'. "I love you." 

"I love you, too," she whispered, watching him with a knot of concern building in her gut as he boarded the shuttle. 

~*~ 

Six months, fifteen days, four hours. A two day mission, and six months later, he still wasn't back. After the first ten days, Janeway had assembled over 20 Engineering teams and twelve away missions. But every time they got nowhere. All they found was one of Tom's boots and a red scrap from his uniform. They waited for ten more days, scanning the area with every available component, scanning nearby planets, looking for traces of any type of ship within three light years' distance. Nothing. 

Janeway had come to her quarters on the twenty-fifth day and told her they had to leave and that she was sorry. That was the kicker. *She* was sorry. Janeway left with tears streaking down her face like a rainstorm while B'Elanna stared numbly out the window at the purplish-blue gases of the planet, wondering what she had done that warranted her lover's absence. 

She spent her days throwing herself into her work, plaintively ignoring the sympathetic glances and avoiding her friends at all costs. The last thing she wanted was pity. She spent her nights alone and desolately pondering what had become of her life. She wondered where he was, tortured herself with possible ways he could have died. Remorsefully remembered all their nights of passion and days of love. Looked back with regret at all their fights, finally realizing they were mostly her fault. And in her tortured dreams, she saw his face, as clear as day, coming towards her with a needy expression. And just when she could feel his arms around her, she'd awake and reach out for him, hitting only the empty spot beside her. 

Harry and Chakotay tried their hardest to put their grief aside long enough to be cheerful around her, but what they didn't know was that she didn't need their cheer. What she really needed was someone to cry with. But everyone was too busy putting on a happy face. 

Now she sat in her quarters, holding a box full of the things he had given her. A dress here, a flower she had preserved there. Notes he had left had been stored in a data padd, and the beautiful maroon dress she had worn on countless Holodeck programs. Her eyes burned with tears, blurring her vision and sending the sequins on the dress across the room. She buried her face in the fabric and allowed herself to cry, a long wail of built up emotions that shook her whole body with a force that scared her. She sobbed quietly for what seemed to be an eternity, brought out of her sorrow only by the incessant chime at her doors. She uttered approval and turned as the doors opened. It was Chakotay. 

She rose from the bed slowly, wiping away a fistful of tears. She pushed her hair out of her eyes and tried to look composed. "B'Elanna . . . " he began. "We picked up something on long range sensors. It's a Federation shuttle craft. It might be ours." 

To Be Continued..


End file.
